Remember when Donald Trump claimed he didn’t watch cable news? Of all the lies he’s told since becoming president (13k and counting), that had to be the most brazen.

We mean, he live-tweets the news constantly, quoting anyone who shows support for him. Heck, he even tries to hire some of the most sycophantic characters he sees, like Matt Whitaker and Joe DiGenova.

And on Friday morning, he proved once again how important his precious cable news was by calling in to Fox and Friends to rant for nearly an hour!

A FREAKIN’ HOUR!

One of the many things we learned thanks to Trump’s ascension was that the DOJ has a rule saying the president can’t be charged with crimes — specifically because being a defendant would take up too much of his time.

Doesn’t this kind of disprove that? We mean, who has the time to call into these shows at all, much less just rambling for an hour? And last year Kellyanne Conway confirmed he was thinking about doing it once a month!

OK, so what did the Unindicted-Co-Conspirator-In-Chief want to rap about with Steve DoocyBrian Kilmeade, and Ainsley Earhardt?

The impeachment inquiry obviously. Since he’s not allowed to tell his side of the story in front of the committee, he wanted a chance to…

Oh, wait. We’re being told he CAN testify, and in fact the committee wants him to? And it’s Trump who is refusing? And ordering everyone around him not to testify, too?

Yeah, super innocent.

The public hearings are well under way, with witness after witness — despite differing points of view and positions in the government — gave testimony amounting to roughly the same thing:

  • Trump wanted Ukraine to announce they were investigating Joe Biden, which would help him politically in 2020.
  • Trump wanted Ukraine to announce they were investigating UKRAINIAN interference in the 2016 presidential election, which would take the heat off of Putin — even though all our intelligence has confirmed it was Russia.
  • These investigations didn’t have to really happen, just the ANNOUNCEMENTS on TV.
  • Military aid and a White House visit for the new president were both being held up until these announcements happened.

You know, basically what we understood from reading the copy of the call released by the White House!

But like most Fox and Friends viewers, the President has a very limited understanding of the proceedings. So instead he sounded like a complete loon, attacking witnesses and pushing conspiracy theories.

Trump called EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland (who donated $1 million to Trump) and “anti-Trump” guy with “Hillary Clinton lawyers.”

Attacking former Ukraine Ambassador Marie Yovanavitch, whom every witness agreed was being a stalwart opponent of corruption and the victim of a smear campaign, Trump said:

“The ambassador, the woman, she wouldn’t even put up my picture in the embassy. She’s an Obama person. She’s a woman. We have to be nice.”

He then made the completely unbelievable claim:

“Frankly, I want a trial.”

UGH, this is SO what he always does. He wanted to sit down for an interview with Robert Mueller, too, except he never did that.

He went on to say he wanted Hunter Biden to testify, though what he has to do with Trump soliciting a bribe from a foreign government we have no idea. He also wanted the whistleblower outed and testifying in public.

Um, why? There’s a reason the dog-walker who trips over a body in the park at the beginning of every Law & Order episode NEVER SHOWS UP DURING THE SECOND HALF OF THE EPISODE. It doesn’t matter who that person is!

Source: http://perezhilton.com/

 

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